Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Story Time

So I'm having a tough time blogging today...some days it's just tough to think of something. But, today I'll just share a story from my past. Somehow the name Patrick Sparks came up yesterday...which reminded me of an awesome moment in the Life of Brian.

For those of you who don't know who Patrick Sparks is let me give you an introduction. He is a ugly little punk who use to play basketball for the University of Kentucky. Now it's been made clear that UK isn't really my favorite team, and while most of their players get on my nerves, I can respect a decent number of them (Chuck Hayes)....However, in my opinion, Patrick Sparks was the biggest piece of crap to ever play the game of college basketball. I honestly think that most UK fans would now admit that he's awful at life.

Anyway, Sophomore year of college I was out with Taylor and some others at a party on fraternity row at Centre. I was in the house on the end of the row and about 30 mins after I got there I started to hear the gossip. "OMG, Patrick Sparks is totally at the Phi Delt house right now" One cat fan would say to another. It soon got on my nerves and after one of my friend's girlfriend exclaimed, "I was just down at the Phi Delt house and Patrick Sparks grabbed my butt!" My buddy, a UK fan, just smiled as if he was pumped that this dude had groped his lady.

I at first attempted to ignore it and go on with my night...I really did...but as I drank another beer or three I soon realized that containing my hate for Mr. Sparks was no longer possible. So, I did what any bad ass would do....I decided I'd challenge Patrick Sparks to a game of H-O-R-S-E on the b-ball courts behind the fraternity houses.

I found a basketball laying around the fraternity house, it was totally flat but it didn't matter, then I rallied up a group of fans to march with me as I went to lay the smack down on this schmuck.

Me and about 6 other people marched out of the SAE house on the end of the row and stomped into the Phi Delt house about three houses down the row.

I walked into the house with terrible Country music playing armed with a flat basketball under my arm, and backed by my army. Once in the house I was immediately met by Phi Delt meathead number one. The conversation went like this...

Me: Where is Patrick Sparks?

Meathead #1: Dude, He's not going to sign your basketball!!! (Attempts to knock the ball out from under my arm)

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAH.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(gather myself)

Sign my ball? Like hell! I want to challenge him to HORSE so I can show him who's boss and prove to all these people that he in fact is awful....this isn't even my basketball!

Meathead #2: He's upstairs but you can't see him!

Me: Why?

Meathead #1: Because he's just a normal guy like us!

Me: Well that's good because normal guys like to play HORSE!

(I start to walk upstairs)

Meathead #2: No way man, We've got our boys up there making sure no one bothers him.

Me: So he's just a normal guy like us...but you find it necessary to have body guards for him? Even though he's the same age as us and everything?

Meathead #1: Well, look Dude just take your ball and leave...he doesn't have time to play your stupid games.

Me: That's fine, but let it be known the Patrick Sparks not only is a loser who is no good at basketball, he also is afraid to play me in HORSE....and you guys are playing "bodyguard" for someone your own age....in a fraternity house.

I then preceded to march out of the house...probably yelling totally uncalled/untrue things about Patrick Sparks...and I went to the b-ball courts and toed up the three point line and yelled, "This one's for Mr. Sparks...who won't play me in HORSE!"

Then I buried a the Three!!!

I swear that's all true, the shot even went in...although I'm about 99% sure that if that ball had had any air in it whatsoever it would have shot of the rim like space rocket....but that's not the point.

The point is, I had people coming up to me for like a week asking me if I really challenged Patrick Sparks to a game of HORSE....I told them I tried and then told him the whole story about the Meatheads and all.

Anyway, it was a proud moment in my college basketball career and anytime the name Patrick Sparks is brought up...I immediately let the people know that I own him...because he is and always will be a no talent ass clown!

Sorry for the strong language...I just really hate Patrick Sparks!

Also, if T-Will needed a body guard...I'd do it. But I'm not talking about protecting him from drunk college kids who want to play HORSE, I'm saying I'd take a bullet for him....that's totally legit.

On that note, I'd like to take this time and wish everyone a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! Eat some good food, pass out watching football, enjoy your family and friends, eat some leftovers the next day....I love the holidays!

I'll be back on Monday kiddos!

Song of the Weekend: The Beatles - Girl
Beer of the Weekend: Dogfish Head - Punkin Ale

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Tuesday Tidbits...

Time for some bits of tid!

* The CrapBags moved back into a playoff spot with a nice win this weekend. With two weeks to go before the playoffs...a win this week might secure a spot in the 4 team tourney and a chance to re-peat as Fantasy Champs. My palms are sweating, how about yours?

* I found a new awesome website last night...it's called FaceinHole.com. I know that the name sounds a little odd, but it gives you all of these awesome backgrounds in which you can insert your face...like this gem:

DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR?!?
Anyway, try it out...it's fun.

*So UofL started off it's basketball season this weekend....all I can say is, Daaaaaaaaaaammmmmmnnnn. It should be a good year, a year which will be made even more awesome by the new bad-ass intro for the Cards at Freedom Hall....you gotta see it.

* I forgot to mention a few weeks ago that my favorite childhood basketball player, Kevin Johnson, was elected mayor of Sacramento. I know I'm super pumped about it, how about you? You're probably wondering what makes him qualified to be mayor...well THIS DOES:
If you dunk on Hakeem, I'll vote for you no matter what you're running for.

* I got so caught up in telling you about the beer geeks in my class yesterday that I forgot to mention the best dude in the whole class...Chad. Our class was from 9-5, for three days. The first day Chad was fine, he was there on time and wore a white shirt and jeans. The second day Chad was about 2 hours late, appeared very hung over and wore a slightly wrinkled white shirt and jeans. The third day...Chad didn't show up until 4 and he was wearing a very wrinkled/dirty white shirt and jeans. Turns out that Chad doesn't like to brew beer nearly as much as he likes to drink it. He got his car towed on Friday morning and spent all day looking for it, then when he realized it was towed, he had to call his wife and ask for the license plate number so he could get his car back...poor bastard.

* I'm a Maker's Mark ambassador (which means I signed up for this thing and now they send me free stuff in the mail) and it's really awesome. The other day out of the blue I got this little tube in the mail and wouldn't you know it...it had wrapping paper and ribbons and gift tags in it. The best part, the design on the wrapping paper is little snowflakes made out of Maker's bottles. If this doesn't scream ROY LEE....nothing does. But, you should totally sign up at Maker's Mark.com.

* Ok, I know I said I'd give you an amazing dose of tidbits today...but these are gonna have to do. Taylor gets in in like 2 hours and I'm going to pick her up at the airport...so I'm a little too excited to give you a proper dose of tidbits....forgive me readers.

Enjoy your Tuesdays though kiddos.

Song of the Day: Fleet Foxes - He Doesn't Know Why
Beer of the Day: Avery - Ellie's Brown

Monday, November 24, 2008

I'm Baaaaacccck

Did you miss me? God knows I missed you guys. I apologize for not posting more, but the business trip was a little more than I expected. So, let's bring you guys up to speed on it all.

I got to my "Start your own brewery" class and chose a seat around the middle, not too close, but far enough away. I quickly surveyed the room and saw a few guys that I might be able to hang out with after class. For the record, there were 40 people, 36 guys and 4 girls...and the next youngest person was 26.

Anyway, the class got under way and I was pleased with the wealth of information that was being tossed my way. Pointers on how to approach investors, help with writing a business plan, etc. I was also pleased with the fact that the Brouha House is way ahead of about 95% of the people there in terms of making a brewpub a reality. The funniest comments were from the people in the class who were just floored that it would take two people to fulfill the jobs of master brewer and general manager. They're both full time jobs with totally different responsibilities, but all of these other Einsteins seemed to think they could handle it. I really think about 15-20 had their brewpub dreams crushed as soon as it was made clear that the GM and the brewer needed to be two different people.

Anyway, enough about the boring brewpub knowledge...let's talk about something more entertaining...like the fact that I was totally surrounded by beer geeks. Not your ordinary beer snobs...no, people who were incapable of making conversation about anything other than beer.

We would head out for drinks afterwards and I would try to change the conversation to something easy...like sports. I mean I love talking about beer, but only so much. I thought that as a man you should be able to at least carry on a conversation about beer, music and sports. So I asked this guy from Chapel Hill, NC if he had watched the UK vs. UNC game the night before. Here's how it went down...

Me: "Oh, you're from Chapel Hill...did you see the Heels game last night against Kentucky?"

Beer Geek: "Basketball?"

Me: "Yeah, UNC beat UK pretty bad...they have a good team this year, they're ranked number 1"

Beer Geek: "Kentucky is number 1?"

Then I preceded to take the guy's face and smash it into a jelly!

I asked a few other people about sports too, I mean I found out where they lived...thought of a pretty popular team in their area and asked them what they thought about X team, or Y player. The response was always the same...blank stare followed by a question that resembled, "Wait a minute....so you're saying that this is a football team from PITTSBURGH?!?"

I then moved on to my next tactic, music.

I waited for a lead in, like a song playing at the bar...I finally got it when The Rolling Stones - "Paint it Black" came on...but again here's the conversation..

Me: "Man, I haven't heard this song in a while...I love the Stones. Do you like them?"

Beer dork: "Huh?"

Me: "The Rolling Stones, this is their song...do you listen to them at all?"

Dork: "Ah, I mean I've heard a song or two of theirs....I don't get into music that much."

Me: Rubbing my head as I felt a migraine setting in

Beer Dork: "I do like Stone brewery though...do you like them?"

Me: "AKFHKLJDF(&*Y#&*()Y#KLJKHDFKLJH"

I even tried to just talk about certain cities where these people lived. This one guy said he was from Charleston, SC. I said, "oh really, my girlfriend lives there...I've been down to visit her and it's such a beautiful city." His response, "Is it? I haven't lived there since I was 5."

I did meet a nice guy named Luke and we were able to talk about other things besides beer....so that was good.

But seriously...you should at least be able to talk about 2 things. It was really frustrating because I think some people actually got pissed that I kept trying to talk about things other than, "How much Budweiser sucks, how amazing their home brewed imperial porter is, and how much harder it is to brew lagers as opposed to ales.

I mean I really really love beer, I know a good deal about it and I like to talk about different kinds from time to time. But when you talk about beer from 9-5 three days in a row...would it kill you to talk about Brett Favre or the Beatles for 10 minutes? I really almost ordered an Old Style when we went to a bar one time just to see what they would have said...Oh man, that would have showed them!

Ahhh!

Oh well, like I said, it was a great trip. I learned a lot and got the info needed to take the next step of making our Brewpub a reality.

Sorry again for the short number of posts...but I'll give you some extra special tidbits tomorrow to make up for it.

Song of the Day: The Beatles - I Me Mine
Beer of the Day: Rock Bottom - Rye Pale Ale

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A Little Sumpthin' Sumpthin'

So yeah, this whole Chicago thing is pretty wild and time consuming. But I thought I'd at least give you something. So here you go, some classic Monty Python stuff:

God Bless Monty Python!

Hang in there people, I'll be back in full force soon.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Chi-Town

I bet you were expecting some Tidbits weren't ya? Well I'm sorry to say that the blog may be a bit slow this week as I am in Chicago on a Brewpub business trip...not a drinking trip...an actual business trip. But, I do have Internet so the chances of a post aren't totally out of the question...It's just going to depend on how much time I have. But anyway I just wanted to let everyone know so they could try to go about their lives as normal as possible. I'll post if I can, but I might be too busy being a professional adult. Anyway, I'll be gone all week...but I'll throw you at least a tidbit every once in a while. Take care readers, I'm off to explore the town a bit.

Also, that whole "Windy City" nickname...they weren't lying. The windchill is at about 18 right now.

Song of the unknown time period: Frank Sinatra - Chicago(My Kind of Town)
Beer of the unknown time period: Goose Island - 312

Monday, November 17, 2008

You're about to become worthless...

If you have anything you need to get accomplished in the next three days...stop reading this right now. I'm serious...any papers, tests, presentations, meetings, sleep...will not happen if you keep reading.

Alright, now then.

I found the COOLEST website ever the other day. It's called Sporcle.com and it's crazy awesome. Basically it's an online trivia game that will quiz you about everything from the Presidents to Will Smith movies to the periodic table.

Just choose one of the games (you can sort them by category by clicking one on the side: sports, movies, music, etc.) and then you get a certain amount of time to type in all the answers. If you can't think of them all...you can click "give up" by the timer to reveal the answers and end the game.

It's really pretty cool to see what you know. For instance, I was able to guess all the college teams in the BCS conferences (don't forget Depaul...I almost did), I named all the Beatles albums in about 25 seconds, I knew the names of several 1990's one hit wonders and I knew every character from South Park and the Office. While those are obviously things to be proud of...I also was able to name all but 6 presidents, all the state capitals, all but a handful of European countries, as well as 20 of the 25 most populous cities in America.

It's pretty crazy how obsessed I became with this game. You can't play just one or two either because then you see another game that catches your eye and then you have to prove to yourself that you can name every movie Matt Damon has been in....it's a vicious cycle.

So yeah, give it a try for yourself and thank me later when everything you had planned to accomplish the next 3 days simply doesn't get finished.


Also, EPSN is kicking off the college b-ball season tonight with a 24-hour basketball marathon. It starts tonight at midnight with UMASS @ Memphis and goes through tomorrow with like 14 live games. The day of fun will also include the UK vs. UNC game, tomorrow at 9. The good news for UK fans is that returning player of the year Tyler Hansbrough is out for the Tar Heels The bad news? I would imagine that even without Psycho T, UNC would still be heavily favored in a game against VMI. (I really tried to resist Cat fans...but I couldn't. You can tell all the UofL football jokes you want)

Have a good day people.

Song of the Day: James Brown - Cold Sweat
Beer of the Day: New Holland - Night Tripper

Friday, November 14, 2008

Taylor

Since I usually don't blog on weekends, I have to talk about tomorrow today. The reason I am doing this is because tomorrow is no ordinary Saturday. Oh no, tomorrow in facts marks the four year anniversary for Taylor and me!

I was kind of unsure how to approach this topic on the blog, and I still am. I could easily sit here and talk about how great the last four years have been, recap some highlights, share a funny story or two, but I have decided to go a different way. Each and every day I talk about myself and what goes on in my life. I mention others and how they play into my life at times, but it's really a pretty conceded blog. So, today I'm gonna talk about Taylor. I'll give you some info about her, tell you some things she likes and even share an embarrassing thing or two (I can do this because since I talk to her often she doesn't read the blog all that much)

So, let's look into..
The Life of Taylor
I'm not going to go into details on personal stuff but I'll give you some good info...

- She is currently studying to get a Masters in English in South Carolina
- She has a cat named Otis, she will also talk to/pick up/want to keep every cat she sees.
- She's named after James Taylor and Bob Dylan (Her middle name is Dylan)
- She loves to watch terrible TV shows, "The Hills," "The Real Desperate Housewives" and "The Girls Next Door" are among her favorites.
- If you get her to drink a little a then you play any John Prine song...she'll cry.
- If the song, "Shout" comes on and you can't find Taylor...it's because she's on the ground doing the alligator (that's my girl)
- She loves Harry Potter and is going to TA a class on the books next semester
- When her boyfriend decided to transfer to the same school as her, she decided to study in Strasbourg, France for a semester....He was pretty sad, but thought it was a good joke in the end.
- She was a Tri-Delt in college and maybe the most dedicated greek member of all time.
- She will always let you know how she feels about something (One of my favorite things about her)
- Her karaoke rendition of Janis Joplin's Me and Bobby McGee can't be touched...you really just have to see it.
- She once used up an entire printer ink cartridge by printing off pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio
- She loves the UofL Cardinals (good thing otherwise we wouldn't date)
- She hates the Kentucky Wildcats (good thing otherwise we wouldn't date)
- She loves to dance
- She hates loud sneezes.
- She could eat an entire angel food cake...and has before.
- One time she accidentally took a sip of my Root Beer at Wendy's and I thought she was going to vomit. I soon found out that Root Beer is not her favorite soft drink.
- She talks in her sleep.
- She can wiggle her ears and roll her stomach
- She thinks I'm so funny at times that she often forgets to laugh.
- She LOVES the color pink.
- She wears a jacket often when it's above 75 degrees.
- She has a wonderful laugh
- She still sleeps with her blanket from when she was little
- She's coming home for Thanksgiving a week from Tuesday!
- She loves all kinds of music, but also really loves a good dose of DMX, Ludacris or Missy Elliot
- Barack Obama is as important to her as Rick Pitino is to me
- Her favorite food very well maybe pickles
- She can make a sad face that will pretty much get me to give her whatever she wants (She is aware of this ability)
- She knows every word to the movie "Mean Girls"
- I'm a happier/better/more fun person when she is around me.
- Her boyfriend is a flat out stud.
- She is great at putting up with my nonsense/childish tendencies
- All in all she is a wonderful gal, and I feel lucky and fortunate to call her mine.

Well there you go kids, a look into the life of Taylor while also getting a look at the softer side of Brian. Now after getting in touch with my feelings and expressing my love for my girlfriend I'm off to eat red meat, drink beer, watch football, punch people, scratch myself and belch (Those are man things right?)

Have a great weekend all.

Song of the Day: The Beatles - I've Just Seen a Face
Beer of the Day: Palmetto Amber

Thursday, November 13, 2008

10 Things I like and dislike these days...

So it's a lazy Thursday, I don't have any one thing to rant about...so I'll give you a new installment of 10 things I like and dislike right now.

1.) Like - The Thursday T.V. lineup. Ever since "The O.C." went off the air, my heart has always been a bit sad whenever I turn on the television. For a long time there were no must see shows for me. However, things have changed now...as the only three shows I watch all come on back to back to back on Thursday nights. "The Office, 30 Rock, Always Sunny in Philadelphia" triple shot from 9 - 10:30, has really made my Thursdays better as of late. Although, Always Sunny needs to step it up a bit...they've been slacking.

2.) Dislike - My Nose. Not the size or anything. But the fact that it's running ridiculous amounts of late. I hate it. I mean you can't really blow it and get the snot out of there you just have to like wipe it all the time and it is awful. On the plus side, when I plug a kleenex up there and stop the running there are few people in the world that look more attractive than I do.

3.) Dislike - Tom Jurich's interview on ESPN.com explaining the current state of Louisville Football. Basically he takes all the blame of Steve Kragthorpe and puts it on Bobby Petrino. He says that UofL fans are too new to the winning thing to realize that we can't go to the Orange bowl every year. Well first of all there aren't any bigger Jurich fans than me...I love the guy. But, I'm not asking you to win the Orange Bowl every year, I'm asking you to explain to me how the head coach of a football team is in no way responsible for guiding a team to a 6-6 record...a team that was fresh off an Orange Bowl, returning most of its starters, including a Heisman trophy candidate at QB. I'm not asking for a National Championship...but UofL has won 7 games before with a lot less talent.

4.) Like - The weather. I don't know about everyone else in the world...but as of right now the sun has hardly come out in Louisville for like 4 days. It's wet, it's cold, it's cloudy...it's awesome. I know everyone likes that bright sunny perfect day...well in my book it doesn't get much better than 45 degrees, cloudy with a chance of rain. Also, they're calling for snow this weekend...byahh!

5.) Like - The new post put up by Ben on the Brouha Blog. Music, Beer and Sports are three things that I really really enjoy, I spend a lot of time researching all three and I know a lot about all of them. When you're able to mix at least two together in a great way...well that just makes me a very happy camper. Also, Morrison Hotel rocks.

6.) Dislike - Working in the Kitchen at Brendan's. This one could easily be a like...but I decided to go dislike for one reason...it's HOT! The people there are nice, I'm learning a ton, it's great experience....but good lord is it hot. Plus, not only do I have to touch fish often (ewww) my hands are constantly covered with beer batter, and other shizz. Also, I had a waffle fry pop in the deep fryer and splash oil on my nose...giving me a decent little burn which really just looks like a huge zit. Oh well, here's to the Brouha House having a good enough chef to keep my time in the kitchen to a minimum.

7.) Dislike - Haircuts. My hair is long and gross right now...so I need a chop. But man do I hate getting my hair cut. Not even, Fritz's man salon is cool enough to make me stop hating haircuts. They never look good right away, I always get hair all over me and they're expensive as hell. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to it.

8.) Like - Music from my youth. Last night, Lautaro and I somehow got talking about songs we used to love growing up. We then spent some time watching b-ball and reminiscing about how amazing Wyclef Jean and Timbaland and Magoo were. We both agreed that Magoo is superior to Timbaland and it's a shame Magoo is no longer heard from. Also, Wyclef's song with the Rock, "It Doesn't Matter" is bad ass.

9.) Dislike - Tyler Hansbrough's injury. He's a great player who came back for his senior year, he deserves to play. Also, he's supposed to be out for the UNC vs. UK game, that's crap.

10.) Like - Being out of school. Everywhere I turn I hear talks of papers and finals stacking up. It's stress city when looking at Facebook and seeing everyone's statuses. For once it feels good to be on the other side, no papers, no tests, just work 9-5. For the first time, I really prefer being out of college as opposed to in....I'm sure this feeling won't last very long.

There you go boys and girls, hope your Thursdays are enjoyable.

Song of the Day: Santana f/ Wyclef - Maria, Maria
Beer of the Day: Clipper City - Heavy Seas Peg Leg Stout

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Why I love College Basketball...

I have been trying for a few days to put into words the importance of college basketball to me and I've been having a really hard time. I mean for 22 years, November rolls around and for the next 5 months I watch a totally unhealthy amount of basketball, and dedicate an unhealthy amount of time to the team that I love...the University of Louisville Cardinals.

I was about to come to the conclusion that there was just no way for me to express what college basketball means to me...then I read the Card Chronicle yesterday. Once again, the guy is my blogging hero and he pretty much nails what I would want to say about college basketball. So instead of giving an explanation that would pale in comparison...I'll just let the Card Chronicle do the talking.

This was titled, "A Profession of Love"

In honor of the commencement of the 2008-2009 college basketball season

"I've asked myself a thousand times why I care so much, and the truth is there's no reasonable answer.

In a relatively short amount of time I've been fortunate enough to meet fantastic people from all walks of life, and many of them have been stunned when it becomes apparent just how much sports - and in particular college basketball - mean to me. For the most part they view athletics as a colossal waste of time, an outlook I rarely bother to dispute.

On the surface it all matters so little. Every day a good person dies, a marriage falls apart, someone has the best day of their life, someone has the worst day of their life, and none of it has anything to do with which team put a ball through a hoop more times than another the night before.

I don't argue the relevance of sport with non-fans not because I don't believe athletics matter, but because I believe the importance of a game can only be fully understood by a person who knows without doubt or question that they love it.

I love college basketball.

Human beings, I believe, are considerably more unhappy and dangerous when they're bored, and by that token it can be propounded that sports are inherently pro-happiness and pro-peace.

It's impossible to argue that war, for all its deplorable faults, is not interesting. Intricate strategy is involved, million dollar weapons are utilized, a man who would have otherwise lived a life of obscurity can become a national hero. It's all the stuff of great fiction.

I can't claim to have even the slightest understanding of the reality of war, but I've heard enough to gain a passionate appreciation for the state of peace that allows me to sit here and type this with fear for my life stored somewhere behind a box in the seasonal decorations closet of my brain.

Peace is good, and for peace to thrive it has to be interesting.

Enter sport.

For multiple hours some odd days a week you're allowed to get completely lost in something undeniably interesting: Amazingly gifted individuals working amazingly hard to do amazing things. And in that space of time it doesn't matter who the person next to you voted for in the last election, or if they even voted at all, only that their clothing and shouts of approval or disapproval mimic yours.

It's the type of pure and simple joy that leaves you both nostalgic and anticipatory until you have the chance to do it all again.

Of course it isn't like athletics are the only phenomena capable of sparking these emotions. Sport exists in the same plane as film, aviation or sex. Which types of these things we find agreeable or how frequently they preoccupy our minds is something all of us still aren't fully (or minimally) able to control.

So like most anyone I find myself gravitating towards things I consider beautiful, be it a song, a woman, or a Seurat painting, and there are few things I find more attractive in this world than college basketball.

It isn't just that I find the game to be the most aesthetically appealing, or one of the best tests of true character - which I do - it's a myriad of things, some of which I've only been able to understand over time, and some more that I still don't.

I embrace second chances and truly believe that people can change for better or worse, so the fact that two weeks into the season, regardless of performance, every team will have each of its major goals in tact speaks to me. If you've worked as hard as you possibly can and absorbed as much knowledge as you possibly can for five months, then you deserve the opportunity to play until you lose come March.

Obtaining the sport's top prize is extremely unlikely for the vast majority of the 347 teams competing in Division I, but thank god it's not impossible. Thank god the bottom-tier RPI school that won its conference tournament gets the chance to prove itself on the sport's biggest stage, and not inside a quarter-full stadium against a team that doesn't really want to be there, in a game that, for all intents and purposes, has absolutely zero significance. Thank god when George Mason beat Michigan State in 2005 that wasn't the way its season ended.

Indeed, there will be triumphs this season, but as always they will be trumped in numbers by the failures. There will be literally hundreds of press conferences where teary-eyed twenty-somethings will be forced to sit at a table, answer questions, and come face-to-face with the realization that a goal they dedicated a large chunk of their lives towards will not be obtained. It's heartrending, but it's also - and there's no reason to even attempt to muzzle the dramatics at this point - beautiful.

I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be able to fully explain how I've reached the point where a game has so much control over my life, but to be honest the unknown why or how doesn't bother me anymore. Life really is so short, and when something makes you happy you don't question it, you simply relish the fact that it does.

I fully admit to missing a drinking game or two in my college days so that I could watch Holy Cross' Tim Clifford man the post or Marist's Jared Jordan run the point during an ESPNU Friday night Patriot League/MAAC double-header. I fully admit to skipping countless days of school, practice and work since the first-grade to watch basketball games in March. And I fully admit that I will spend more time than any reasonable human being should thinking about, talking about, and watching college basketball for the next five months.

They say the worst thing you can do to love is deny it, and I'm willing to make myself very vulnerable for this game."


Well said sir. I would have changed a few things (don't miss the drinking game...make the basketball game a drinking game), but overall this sums up my love for the game of college basketball.

GO CARDS!!!

Song of the Day: Kenny Loggins - This is it
Beer of the Day: BBC - Dark Star Porter

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday Tidbits

You know the drill...

* Byahh!!! The CrapBags knocked off the league leaders this week! The Bags are somehow getting it done, but need to continue to win in order to hold on to our precious playoff spot. Go Bags!

* So I was watching something on TV the other day about our future first lady, Michelle Obama and I realized something....something that makes me like the Obamas even more. It's the fact that Mrs. Obama looks a helluva lot like Sigourney Weaver....check it:

Don't try to tell me you don't see it...I think they're sisters.

* So now that we're all in getting in the Christmas spirit it's time to find a new Christmas CD for all to enjoy this Holiday season. I've been trying to find out if anyone is "dropping" a new Christmas album and the only one I can find so far that might be of interest (besides Amy Grant's new Christmas CD!!! How dare she try to top, "Breath of Heaven") is "This Warm December: Brushfire Holiday's Vol. 1" this is Jack Johnson's record label and this CD includes songs from him, Matt Costa, G. Love and others...it should be decent. But, if anyone finds anything better please let me know.

* So I've tried to tell you about Samardo Samuels...but you really just have to see him. He's got a ways to go on the defensive end and he needs to rebound better....but I'm pretty pleased with this...

(it'll take a while to play through the first time)

* My attempts to stick it to the man are finally working. I wrote a pretty scathing review of Budweiser's American Ale on the Brouha Blog, and it appears the folks at Anheuser Busch have taken notice. I looked at the records of this blog and the Brouha Blog and it turns out we have a visitor from Anheuser Busch checking us out every once in a while. I pretty flattered they're reading the blogs...now I hope they do me a favor and issue an apology for producing the giant turd that is American Ale.

* The weather right now in Louisville is simply amazing. It's about 40 degrees and rainy...I wouldn't have it any other way.

* Hey, does anyone know of anything I should ask put on my Christmas list? I'm starting to be asked for ideas from a few people and I've got nothing besides a new watch and the new Beatles monopoly game...if you know of something that would make a great gift for me let me know...or buy it yourself and send you're favorite blogger a lovely Holiday present this December. (Only do this if I'm you're favorite blogger)

* Have I told you guys about my new workspace? I don't think I have...I used to have a nice office with a window overlooking Main St. but then my boss decided some guy named Jason was more important than his son...so I got moved. To tell you the truth I actually like my new little cubicle...it's walking distance to the fridge and water cooler, it has it's own heating and air conditioning and I've been able to leave the office for hours at a time with no one noticing! Also, since Jason is an attorney and I'm Mr. Scanman...he probably does deserve the office...nice call boss!

* College basketball started last night....I haven't been this excited since I was selected most likely to write a blog about himself in eighth grade. I don't know why I love college basketball, but I do...I'll attempt to explain it to you some day.

That's all for me today kiddos...enjoy your Tuesdays...I'm get to work in the kitchen tonight at the bar...it should be...how do you say it...lame. Oh well.

Song of the Day: Modest Mouse - Ocean Breathes Salty
Beer of the Day: Samuel Smith - Oatmeal Stout

Monday, November 10, 2008

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

Christmas!!!
That's right it's time. I'm actually about 10 days late with this post...but I've just been busy, and it was 70 degrees last week so it just wasn't working for me...but now it's time. It's time to start celebrating the greatest holiday in the ever....CHRISTMAS!!!

I know some people can't stand when Wal-Mart and Target start putting out Christmas decorations in the middle of October and well...I can't stand some people, so there!

For me, as soon as I take off my Halloween costume and go to bed, the next morning on November 1st is when it is officially time to start celebrating Christmas. Ol' Roy Lee and myself have actually thrown a party on November 1st the last two years, complete with a tree, yankee swap, pin the nose on Rudolph and other fun Christmas festivities.

I know some of you are sitting there thinking, "Come on Brian, it's still too early to celebrate this amazing Holiday, I mean what about Thanksgiving?

Well I love Thanksgiving, and in no way am I trying to take away from it's power, I'm simply trying to include it and make it one big holiday extravaganza. I mean when push comes to shove, if I don't start celebrating Christmas until after Thanksgiving is over....I'm not going to get to do everything that I want to do that's Christmas related.

For instance I have to watch Elf, Love Actually, Christmas Vacation and Home Alone all at least three times, not to mention the many other Christmas films I have to watch at least once. I have to make a new "Christ-mix" which is a CD I put out every year filled with Holiday favorites. I have to decorate my apartment, I've gotta shop and find great gifts for all of my loved ones, I've gotta take like 5 "Christmas naps", I've got to try to remain as calm as possible as Christmas gets closer and College basketball starts (I still don't know how I ever passed a fall semester final in college), I've gotta work on my Christmas list powerpoint presentation, I've gotta try at least 10 different Christmas ales, and this year...even though I've never done it before...I'm going caroling. ("Are you Carol singers? Please sir...Pleeeeaaassse" - Love Actually)

I mean you see, this is just a ridiculous time of year so to try to do all that in less than a month is clearly just not possible. So, that's why I celebrate Christmas throughout November and on into December. Plus, who's not dying to watch "Elf"? That movie is just great.

Also, for what it's worth....before you make fun of me and think my Christmas activities list is out of control....e-mail Roy Lee and ask him his...It'll make me look a little more sane...but not much.

Alright kids, there you have it...official Life of Brian approval to start celebrating Christmas...not that you needed it.

But, let me be the first this year to wish each and every one of you...A Very Merry Christmas!

Song of the Day: Dean Martin - Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
Beer of the Day: Breckinridge - Christmas Ale

Friday, November 07, 2008

100th post!

Woo-hooo today is the 100th post in the history of the Life of Brian! Man, it seems like forever ago that I sat down on that special June afternoon and decided that it was time for the world to be hit with a daily dose of Brian.

Since June 14, we've been through quite a bit together, there have been some ups and downs, some angry rants and some sincere posts. I think one thing is for sure, I think that we can all agree that our lives have changed because of this blog, I'd hope they've been changed for the better...but I'm not so sure.

The really neat thing about writing this blog is going back and seeing the different posts and remembering the feelings and such that I had during various times.

So, in honor of this historic moment in LoB history...let's take a gander at what all we've been through together.

The blog started shortly after I graduated and on the blog we've seen me attempt to deal with big moments in my life like: getting a full-time job, Taylor moving away, moving into my own apartment and of course buying the big TV and kegerator.

Those were all big moments in my life, both for good and bad, and I am glad you guys got to help me get through those.

Let's see what else has happened....

Well, we single handedly made "Boomshakalaka, Wassssssssuppppp and 'That's so funny I forgot to laugh'" cool again. As well as inventing and using the words, "Stankafoodaphobia" and "Beardo"

We've seen my ongoing battle with the abusive relationship that I am currently still in with Becky, my yeast baby.

We've seen the creation of a second blog that I contribute to in The Brouha Blog.

We've been there as I began and continue my education as an employee at O'Shea's family of Pubs, where I've learned that not only do old ladies sometimes vomit on the bar, but also some people really don't get sarcasm.

We've seen me set up a retirement plan.

We've seen the magic that is the Life of Brian Fan base pull together to get 50 fans before the 4th of July! A feat that will one day go down as one of the greatest achievements in blogging history.

We've seen the blog go worldwide with hits from India, Canada, Mexico and Australia.

We've experienced a once in a lifetime hurricane type storm in Kentucky.

We've gotten extremely patriotic during the Michael Phelps show that was once known as the Beijing Olympics.

We've followed UofL sports in an unhealthy fashion.

Heck, we've even seen an African American elected president of the United States!

As you can see, we've been through a lot here. Now, I want to takt this time to thank those of you who read this blog. The past 5 months have been a weird and wild time in my life as I struggle with the battle of not only becoming an adult, but living away from my girlfriend and also starting my own business. It hasn't always been pretty, it hasn't always been fun, but neither is life. This blog allows me a chance to voice whatever is on my mind and I appreciate those of you who read the blog and refrain from calling me a weirdo, moron, loser...at least to my face.

Thanks again to the readers and here's to making the next 100 posts even better!

Have a great weekend everyone, cheers!

Song of the Day: The Beatles - In My Life
Beer of the Day: BBC Dark Star Porter

Thursday, November 06, 2008

The Angry German

Man, yesterday was a pretty patriotic post, yeah? Well today I'm going the opposite route.

The only magazine the I subscribe to is Esquire. I really like this magazine and there are at least three articles every issue that I truly enjoy reading and usually learn something from. However, my favorite part of Esquire is the article called, "The Angry German." Basically, it's a short article written by an anonymous German man who has been living in America for about 10 years...and he is often angry. Each issue he talks about something that Americans do that is absolutely idiotic. While he is very aggressive and his language can get a bit filthy (I'll edit a bit to keep LoB family friendly), the points he makes are almost always brilliant.

So today, I'll give you a triple shot of "The Angry German" and then I'll give you some more down the road whenever I feel the need to unleash the beast.

Also, before we start I'll give you the same piece of advice that Esquire gives before reading the articles:

"The article is best read aloud in a German accent"

The Angry German: Punctuality

I grew up with a father who would not let me eat dinner if I wasn't at the table exactly at 7:00 P.M.; 7:01 and I went to bed hungry. So when I get a meeting, party, dinner invite for a certain time, I am there at that time, not 5, 10, or even 15 minutes late. In my early years in America, people were in shock when I arrived at their parties at 8:00 P.M. Well, why don't you bleeding invite people for 9:00 P.M. then?

I play soccer with a bunch of people. Every week I send an e-mail to please be on time -- well, I don't say please, I say, "Be on f***ing time or you won't play next week," yet the same nimrods show up 10 to 20 minutes late every game. "Hey, sorry, West Side was clogged." Oh, is that the same kind of clogged it has been the last three years at this time? To many of these morons -- elite-school grads, by the way -- being on time is an insurmountable task. In my observation, the true idiots of this nation are the Ivy League grads.


The Angry German: Englishmen in America

Dear Americans,

Please, if you hear someone speak with an English accent, it does not make him smart by default. There are millions of people in England who are complete idiots, yet they speak with an English accent. In my group at work we have an Englishman, and it regularly happens that I propose something with my Arnold accent, and he jumps in literally a minute later and says the exact same f***ing thing, and everyone nods and says, "Yeah, Simon is right, this is the way we should do it."

Really, if your forefathers had had the same reaction, you'd still be reporting to Buckingham Palace. Whereas I want to drown him in Pimm's lemonade.

Women seem to take the English accent as an aphrodisiac. I can say, "Hey, I work for an investment bank, have my own place, and write a column in Esquire magazine" and get no response. Whereas butt-ugly Mr. Winterbottom to my side says, "Hey, I am on parole and need to buy some coke -- care to help me out?" As long as he says it with a Brit accent, it is guaranteed that she will go home with him and fund his cocaine addiction.

Please, dear Yanks, take this advice at heart. Now, I myself have many English friends, and I can take the accent thing, as long as they continue to be the biggest underperformers in world sports. But don't you be fooled.


The Angry German: The Work Place

What's with all the friendliness? Everybody in America seems to want to make sweet love to all their colleagues while behind their backs they want to ram rusty screwdrivers down their throats. In my country, it's the other way around: Everyone at the workplace is unfriendly to each other, and then they are best friends over the weekends playing football. When I started working here, one of my first e-mails went to a senior database administrator. It said: "Database is down. Fix it." It landed me a first-row seat in the department head's office, getting a talking down about work culture. To this day, I don't see anything wrong. I didn't say, "You stupid f*ck, you let the database go down while masturbating to Mexican donkey porn. Fix it." Now, I learned that the proper way to say this is: "I know you are really busy, but I cannot continue my work while the database is inaccessible. If you don't mind, could you look into the problem and let me know if there is a chance you can rectify it? Sorry to be a bother." No wonder shit doesn't get done in time when you have to write a freaking novel for each simple thing.

Also, I had to learn that it is frowned upon to have a beer during lunch break.


Well yeah, there you have him. I apologize to anyone the Angry German has offended...but let's be real here...he's right. And because he tells the truth I'll ignore his potty mouth, especially the part about Mexican Donkey Porn.

Enjoy your Thursdays all!

Song of the Day: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Soul to Squeeze
Beer of the Day: Rogue - Double Dead Guy Ale

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

President Obama

I wasn't going to talk about the election today. I didn't really care who won. I liked both candidates and thought either one would have done just fine. I ended up voting for Barack Obama.

I'm not well informed when it comes to politics. In fact, to be honest...to say I'm adequately informed would be a better way to put it. I don't get into it much, but I know enough to carry on a conversation. However, last night as I watched the news for hours...I was proud to have voted, to have had the chance to vote and overall just to be an American.

Here's how I see it...the country is not booming right now...there are lots of problems. We could go on and on as to who is to blame...but most would blame the current president and administration. Whether that's entirely fair or not is not something I want to discuss. But, I think it's clear to see that we're in need of some kind of change. Whether a new president in general, regardless of party, would have been enough...I'm not sure. But now, we do get change. Will we get as much change as promised? Probably not, but that's the way it is. We will get a good deal of change though...and it's something I'm excited about.

After hearing John McCain's speech last night, I was a bit sad that he didn't win...that guy is one hell of an American. He's spent his life serving our country and he just wanted to do it at the highest level...it was sad to see him not reach his goal.

However, soon there after, President-elect Barack Obama stepped to the microphone in front what seemed like millions of people in Chicago's Grant Park and delivered a speech that can only be characterized as inspiring. If that didn't make you feel proud, give you goosebumps, or help calm whatever fears you may have had about the man who is going to be our President...well than I feel sorry for you.

Ever since the speech I've been thinking about why I was so inspired by that speech and I'm still not sure. But here is what I do know...last night was historic. I could spend an entire day on how wonderful it is that an african-american was elected president...but I think that fact is not being lost on anyone. What makes this election so wonderful in my mind is the fact people once again supported their candidates with such passion and energy. The last few elections have been so ho-hum in regards to hard fought campaigns that lead to a wonderful celebration by the winning party and an honorable and inspiring second place finish for the other. Last night people celebrated, they cried, they jumped up and down. My girlfriend Taylor, a die hard democrat thanks to her parents, told me she believes her reaction to Obama's win was similar to how I would react if UofL won a National Championship in basketball. I at first laughed and told her that she clearly was underestimating how important Cardinal basketball is to me. She responded that I was clearly underestimating how important President Obama was to her. She was right...and that's the best part.

This is a nation that cares strongly for athletics. In sports we all choose one side and support them till the bitter end, and afterwards we shake hands with our worthy opponents and move on. Well this was it...the biggest of games. Two top notch candidates taking each other one...giving it there all. There has to be a winner and there has to be a loser. But, the glory is that whoever the winner is...we get to have them lead our nation against the problems we all face.

I know the sports analogies are kind of lame...but, if you hate the Lakers....you're still rooting for Kobe and the dream team when they take on Spain or whoever...because he's not the Lakers player anymore...he's our player. He's playing for America.

So, to wrap up this long, adequately informed ramble about our new president....let me say this, at the end of the day, we're all Americans (even Lautaro). We have freedom, we have rights and we're the best country in the world. We're also bigger than anyone one man...no matter if his name is Barack Obama or John McCain. So these days when times are hardest and the country is facing one of its toughest challenges ever...I would hope that everyone can get behind Mr. Obama and give him the support, respect and recognition that comes with being elected The President of the United States of America. It's true that a change is coming, and hopefully it will end up being one of the best things to ever happen to our country...only time will tell.

Congratulations President Obama!


Also, in order to show just how inspired I was by last night's election I did as I always do and made an impulse online purchase...check it:
That's right...it's a tap handle for my kegerator. Because from now on when I drink...I drink with POTUS....although the kegerator is still out of order....which is ok, because he won't really be president until January.

Song of the Day: Sam Cooke - A Change is Gonna Come
Beer of the Day: Avery Brewing - Ale to the Chief

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Tuesday Tidbits

Byahhhh.....

* Hey there's an election today. All of us over the age of 18, who are U.S. citizens get to go fill out a little scan-tron sheet and decide who not only gets to be the next president, but also gets to have his every move followed and watched for the next four years...with all of his mistakes being replayed over and over again...good times.

In all honesty though, being an American is great and being able to vote is a really awesome thing. I'm not going to tell you the importance of voting because Diddy has already threatened to kill everyone who doesn't...so if I were you I'd go vote.
* The Crapbags played like big bags of crap this week and got drilled. It's ok, we're still hanging on to the 4th and final playoff spot.

* Anyone watch the UofL football game this weekend? Well I did and I firmly will now say that I no longer want Steve Kragthorpe to be the head coach. I've flirted with the idea for a while and always gave him the benefit of the doubt...but you don't lose to Syracuse...twice...and then have your players say, "They were overconfident." What the hell has the UofL football team done under coach Kragthorpe to have any reason to be overconfident? I hate to be that kind of fan...but it's pretty clear this guy really doesn't have a clue. I mean you'd think as a head coach he could at least be able to count high enough to inform his offensive coordinator that running 5 yard out routs on 3rd and 8 doesn't pick up the first down...regardless of how many times you try it. UGGGGHHH!

* Saturday night Ben, Daniel, Lautaro, some stranger named Blade (hilarious), and myself departed from T.J's "bachelor party" and traveled down to the Outlook Inn for a Bloody Mary. If you've never had a Bloody Mary...try one of theirs. If you have had a Bloody Mary, try theirs and then cry because you've never tasted anything so good. It's the truth.

* I forgot to mention last week that the Phillies won the World Series! (did I mention it? I can't remember) Congrats to them, and to Dude...the only Phillies fan outside of Pennsylvania. Phill's second baseman Chase Utley is making headlines for his now infamous (MORE than famous) World Series Parade speech. Apparently he just got up to the microphone in front of thousands of Phillie's fans and said, "World...F***ing...Champions!" It was pretty impressive...but still the second best post-game comments from a Philly this post season:

I will never EVER listen to that clip and not laugh.

* So some of you probably don't know Samardo Samuels yet. Well he's the new bad ass who plays Center for UofL's b-ball team. Here is his picture:
If I were you I'd go HERE and read an awesome story about this young man. It really makes it tough not to root for someone like this...it also makes it tough to not love America and College sports for the chances they give so many under privileged kids. It's also tough to not bang your head against the nearest wall when thinking about what a waste Derrick Caracter is.

* By far the best costume I saw this weekend was the little kid who was dressed up as Kobayashi, the hot dog eating champion. It was even cooler because I guessed his costume and then he ran down the sidewalk jumping up and down...because someone actually knew who he was supposed to be.

* Lautaro and I have almost beat the new guitar hero...oh, how I love to waste time.

* Check out LoB's favorite cellist Ben Sollee's new song on his MySpace page. The song is called, "Only a Song" and it features none other than Mr. Jim James....also this song is wicked awesome.

I think that's all the tidbits I have for today...enjoy watching hours and hours of election coverage tonight!

Song of the Day: Ben Sollee - A Few Honest Words
Beer of the Day: Avery Brewing - Ale to the Chief

Monday, November 03, 2008

iGoogle is the Shiz!

Oh Monday...how I loathe you. So the weekend was good, Very fun Halloween night, Unexpectedly fun Saturday as a late invite came to TJ's bachelor party, relaxing Sunday (although some old lady threw up on the bar at work last night...it was gross) all in all it was pretty swell.

Now, we're on to Monday...I don't have much to talk about today...but I thought I would tell you guys about a super sweet thing my brother turned me on to...it's really changing my life.

it's called...iGoogle

Basically it's a quick and easy way to customize a webpage and then use it as your ultimate homepage.

To use it, just sign in to your google account (gmail and yahoo work...they're all free) then you choose a theme which is basically just a background for your page. They have pictures, colors, animated ones...anything you could want.

Once you've decided on a theme...then you can choose gadgets to add to your page. This is the best part...they've got a gadget for everything. Sports, music, games, ebay, whatever. For instance, my page displays my e-mail, the latest sports scores, local weather, ESPN's top story, Beatles history for each day, a trivia question, today's woot.com listing, Liverpool FC news, CNN headlines, a beer of the day, a post it note that you can edit for reminders, a London photography slideshow and today's beer news.

I know you're probably thinking this is an insane amount of info for one page, but they make it so compact that it all fits. You just add and subtract things as you please and then you can set the page as your homepage and get all that info as soon as you get online.

It literally takes just a three minutes to set up and you can customize it anyway you want. It's a really amazing tool and I would highly suggest that you give it a whirl. You can thank me later!

Enjoy your Mondays kiddos!

Song of the Day: Jimi Hendrix - The Wind Cries Mary
Beer of the Day: Bell's - Expedition Stout