Thursday, October 08, 2009

The Night The Pink Couch Was Violated...

Today I thought I'd share a story with you guys. This is a story from Junior year of college and I don't like to tell it because it upsets me. However, it's kinda funny/gross...so I thought I would share.

Note: I don't remember exactly how this all went down...but this is close...my mind has never been the same. Will can correct any part that's wrong. Also, I'm using fake names for the others involved.

So it was a warm Fall night and Will and I and some friends were hanging out in our room after a night of partying. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door...it was this girl who had a crush on Will...we'll call her, Karen. So, Karen came in, clearly intoxicated, and started flirting it up with Will. Will and I then spent the next 20 minutes or so trying to get her to leave. She stayed and chatted some more and then her phone rang. She answered it and started talking to her friend, we'll call her Peggy. Soon, Karen invited Peggy over to our room as well. Will and I were pretty mad, but Karen was too drunk to notice.

Will, Karen and myself talked for a little longer...most (all?) of our friends left and went home...and Will and I continued to make it clear that we wanted her to leave, but she stayed. Soon there was another knock on the door. Peggy had arrived, she was wearing a gray dress that was only about as thick as an old t-shirt. She proceeds to plop down on our famous pink couch next to Karen and talk about how sweaty she was. The two girls continued to talk as if Will and I weren't even there and Peggy just kept going on and on about how she was at a party dancing and now she was so sweaty because of it and how the walk over to our room just made her sweat even more...

It was a disturbing conversation.

Luckily, the two weirdo girls soon got tired and realized that they should probably leave. So, they stood up and walked out the door. Will closed the door behind them and I was over at my desk messing around on my computer. Will and I began to talk about how crazy those two girls were and as we both turned toward the center of the room, where the couch was, we were immediately speechless.

We couldn't believe our eyes!

Surely, not! There's no way....she was only here for like 10 minutes....stuff like this just can't happen...

Peggy wasn't lying about how sweaty she was and I wasn't lying when I told you her dress was as thin as an old t-shirt....and that's how we ended up with an ass-sweat stain on our couch!

You always hear about stuff like this, you know the whole "Poppy peed on my couch" thing. However, when it happens to you...it's so sad. I can remember that Will and I didn't really get upset but we certainly weren't laughing. We just kinda looked at each other, not knowing what to do.

I mean who does that? How can you not be aware of your swap-ass situation? How rude! How inconsiderate! That's THE PINK COUCH!!!

Soon, we regrouped and began to laugh about how ridiculous it all was. Will took that picture, I flipped the cushion over, and we called it a night.

To this day I can't tell that story without just shaking my head. It's a funny story, no doubt. However, it's a lot funnier when it's not your couch.

Gross.

Song of the Day: The Byrds - You Ain't Going Nowhere
Beer of the Day: Dogfish Head - Punkin Ale

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