Thursday, June 19, 2008


That's right, it has been exactly one month and one day since I walked across the stage and got my college diploma...and I'm retiring. Ok, not really. But yesterday I did fill out the paper work to set up my retirement plan! Byahh! So, in just 40 or so years, I'll be a millionaire...hopefully sooner. (Come on BrewPub!)

Even though I've only been working full time for about a week and a half is fun to think about retirement. Here are the immediate perks to retiring and being old.

1.) Shuffleboard! Shuffleboard has and always will be in my top 5 favorite sports. I just love it. Taking gigantic, metal poles and hurling little discs at a, it really is a great game.

2.) Driving a Buick. I don't know why old people drive gigantic cars...but I want one. I also need mine to have a GPS system so I can always find the closest Hometown Buffet. On a side not, as a child I watched wrestling on TV. (So did you, hush) Anyway, I remember once Stone Cold Steve Austin crushed The Rock's new car with a wrecking ball. Oh man, clearly Stone Cold did not smell what the Rock was cookin'! But, as I sat there waiting for the Rock to go lay the Smack Down, I realized that the Rock drove a Buick. This made me sad for a few reasons. At first I thought the Rock was going to retire. I mean he bought a new Buick! Why else would he buy that car? Soon I realized that he wasn't retired...wrestling was just lame...and so was I.

3.) Doing whatever the hell I want...always! If I want to eat cookies for breakfast...I'm doing it. If I want to stop going to the bathroom...I'm gonna stop. I mean I'm still going to go to the bathroom, I'm just not going to "go" to the bathroom. Ya dig? Those adult diapers were made for a reason. I may play some golf, I may play some crazy eights...but it doesn't matter because it will all be on my terms.

Man...only 40 more years!

Side notes*
* My Morning Jacket debuted on the Billboard charts at number 9! Congrats to the boys and as a life long Louisvillian...I'm very proud these days. Also, they'll be on Conan O'Brien tonight...don't miss it, unless you prefer your face which case don't ever come within 10 miles of anything that has to do with MMJ.

* So it turns out that International Brewers Day is July 18th. By no coincidence, the brewpub's brewer, Dude, happened to be born on that day! The stars are aligning out now!

* While reading through a book of useless information, (That's actually the title...woo hooo English Majors!) I learned that former president Ulysses S. Grant was always called, "Useless" while growing up. Welcome to the club my man.

Song of the Day: The Black Keys - Lies
Beer of the Day: Newcastle Brown Ale

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