Thursday, June 19, 2008

Retirement

That's right, it has been exactly one month and one day since I walked across the stage and got my college diploma...and I'm retiring. Ok, not really. But yesterday I did fill out the paper work to set up my retirement plan! Byahh! So, in just 40 or so years, I'll be a millionaire...hopefully sooner. (Come on BrewPub!)

Even though I've only been working full time for about a week and a half now...it is fun to think about retirement. Here are the immediate perks to retiring and being old.

1.) Shuffleboard! Shuffleboard has and always will be in my top 5 favorite sports. I just love it. Taking gigantic, metal poles and hurling little discs at a target...man, it really is a great game.

2.) Driving a Buick. I don't know why old people drive gigantic cars...but I want one. I also need mine to have a GPS system so I can always find the closest Hometown Buffet. On a side not, as a child I watched wrestling on TV. (So did you, hush) Anyway, I remember once Stone Cold Steve Austin crushed The Rock's new car with a wrecking ball. Oh man, clearly Stone Cold did not smell what the Rock was cookin'! But, as I sat there waiting for the Rock to go lay the Smack Down, I realized that the Rock drove a Buick. This made me sad for a few reasons. At first I thought the Rock was going to retire. I mean he bought a new Buick! Why else would he buy that car? Soon I realized that he wasn't retired...wrestling was just lame...and so was I.

3.) Doing whatever the hell I want...always! If I want to eat cookies for breakfast...I'm doing it. If I want to stop going to the bathroom...I'm gonna stop. I mean I'm still going to go to the bathroom, I'm just not going to "go" to the bathroom. Ya dig? Those adult diapers were made for a reason. I may play some golf, I may play some crazy eights...but it doesn't matter because it will all be on my terms.

Man...only 40 more years!

Side notes*
* My Morning Jacket debuted on the Billboard charts at number 9! Congrats to the boys and as a life long Louisvillian...I'm very proud these days. Also, they'll be on Conan O'Brien tonight...don't miss it, unless you prefer your face un-melted...in which case don't ever come within 10 miles of anything that has to do with MMJ.

* So it turns out that International Brewers Day is July 18th. By no coincidence, the brewpub's brewer, Dude, happened to be born on that day! The stars are aligning people...watch out now!


* While reading through a book of useless information, (That's actually the title...woo hooo English Majors!) I learned that former president Ulysses S. Grant was always called, "Useless" while growing up. Welcome to the club my man.

Song of the Day: The Black Keys - Lies
Beer of the Day: Newcastle Brown Ale

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