Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Light Beer Argument

There are few things (some UK fans, comb overs, smirnoff ice, people who spend more than 4 dollars on a Taco Bell trip, Drew Carrey hosting the Price is Right) on the planet that are more idiotic then people who argue the difference between Bud light, Miller Lite, Coors light, etc. Now before you go accusing me of being a beer snob let me explain.

First of all, I like light beer. There is way too much evidence to prove that I don't. Such as the fact that every single person reading this blog has more than likely seen me drink a light beer, also perhaps you have seen the yeast baby that has been growing in my stomach since college...I call her Becky! So you see, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that light beer is crap and you should only drink craft brews and imports. (They are better though...you should try them!).

Now then, on to the argument. In the last 2 weeks I have seen 4 cases of people claiming they only drink "Miller Lite" or "Bud Light." If you have a personal reason for drinking this...such as, my grandpa used to drink it, it's brewed in the town where I am from, it makes me think I can fly, it always seems to make me lose my pants...then knock yourself out, drink all you want. HOWEVER, never is it legit to claim you only drink your particular beer because the others taste like water. ERRONEOUS!!! ERRONEOUS ON ALL COUNTS!

You see, while you can tell a difference in the tastes...maybe...they all taste like water with a splash of yeast and hops. To say that Miller simply is just delicious and it has such a strong taste compared to Bud or Coors...well that makes you a bigger liar then our 37th and 42nd presidents.

Here is the real kicker. Coors Light (which is probably one of the ones I drink the most of) seems to get the most "who farted?" faces (You know when you smell it, but don't know where it came from so you scrunch your nose up really tight to your face in hopes of not smelling it), While Miller Lite people are always the most elitist, mainly because they think their beer is served in beer heaven. (PLEASE NO!) Little do these fooligans know...Miller and Coors merged and are now run by the same people, making their argument even more idiotic...which is a minor miracle.

Ok, sorry for the rant today...here is my bottom line. Light Beer is Lite Beer. It doesn't matter how you spell it, it doesn't matter what size the can or bottle is...it's all similar. So if you prefer Coors Original because you think you're classy (you totally are!), that's fine. But don't give the person next to you the "who farted?" face just for drinkin' a Busch Light...because odds are the two of you are going to end up with a child before too long because if you're drinking light beer...you have to have at least 7 in order for it to be worth it....otherwise you should just drink delicious craft brews! Duh!

Song of the Day: Neko Case - Deep Red Bells
Beer of the Day: Old Style, Natty, Coors, Bud, Miller, Pabst, Stroh's, Busch, The Beast, Whatever you prefer.

***FAN ALERT
We are up to 14 fans with additions from Jessica S., Todd and Tom. For the record, Tom is now the #1 fan because he told me that reading this blog makes his day everyday. I'm not sure what exactly he is doing with those horses up in NY...but if this blog makes his day everyday...it can't be too exciting. Go get yourself a lady Tom...preferably one without tube socks and flip-flops this time!

1 comment:

Scott U'Sellis said...

This blog is top notch! And, yes, I am fan. I guess that makes 15, right? Anyway, I agree with your light beer arguement as I am a consumer of them myself. I consider myself a Miller man but all light (or lite) beer tastes the same to me. I'm pushing legislation as we speak trying to get Keystone Light in bottle form in Kentucky (they already enjoy this privilege in Ohio). As we all know Keystone is officially America's never bitter beer, and I will not rest until I can enjoy one in it's truest form. I'll continue fighting that good fight. Brian keep up the stellar work.